Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
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he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
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What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Randomize