Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
