if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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