So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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