I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
