i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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