Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
