and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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