if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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