yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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