there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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