are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
