is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
