Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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