New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
