I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
