Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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