How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
