Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
