He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
a search helicopter?!
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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