hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
