you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Randomize
