i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just threw up on my dentist
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
my vag is so smooth its legendary
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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