Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
