I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
