Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
