Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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