yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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