i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
