In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I wish I only lived at night.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Randomize
