I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
