The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza