Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.