I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both