We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
