I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize