In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
