can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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