Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
