It's just like the Real World with babies
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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