He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
