Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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