You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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