ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
