her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
