just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
