Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
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tonight lets celebrate not being married
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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