I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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