how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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