Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
