I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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