Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
