I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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