Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
