I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
