When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
