oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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